Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Lactaid Life

I don't know what to eat.  I'm trying to lose weight - about 15-20lbs.  That would suggest a low-fat diet.  I'm diabetic which means low-carb diet, and now I've determined I'm lactose intolerant - so no dairy.  How do you eat a low-fat, low-carb, non-dairy diet?  I have no clue. 

Part of having CF is dealing with the inability to digest fats; I take enzymes when I eat so I can digest fats. Also because of my diabetes I've been trying to eat low-carb and I was getting pretty used to it.  I'm having major problems with my new Lactaid life - I don't like being lactose intolerant and it's really hard to get used to.  Be warned the next part is about farts, poop and other disgusting things because it is the reality of my disease(s).

I figured out I am lactose intolerant because I knew I had to do something about my smelly farts - so terribly smelly I was embarrassed by the noxious fumes.  I was always trying to hide my farts and you can guess how well that went.  Thank ya'll for being too polite to tell me.  My family was not polite about it and ended up hurting my feelings.  It's okay because they helped me realize it was more than just my CF.  I was assuming my CF was the reason for the smelly farts -something I couldn't help or control.  Something I hoped no one would notice.

The other things I needed to figure out were the oily poop and the belly aches.  My fellow CFers will know what I'm talking about, but for everyone else, it's what happens when you don't digest fats.  Again, I thought this was something I had to live with.  And then I remembered that I am an idiot.  A few years ago I reduced the number of enzymes I take with each meal in order to lose some weight.  (FYI, it didn't work.  All it did was cause oily poops, smellier farts and the occasional shit in my pants accident.  Yeah, that's right.  I just said it out loud - I am a grown woman and if I don't take my meds like I should I will shit my pants). 

So I started working to fix the farts from hell.  First, I upped my dose of enzymes, and that helped the oily poops but didn't really touch the belly aches or smelly farts.  Sad panda.  Now what?  My mother (the person I talk about poop with because I can tell her things like, "Oh crap, I gotta go, I just crapped my pants") brilliantly suggested I might be lactose intolerant because both my dad and brother are. 


I tried taking Lactaid when I eat dairy and it helped but didn't eliminate the smelly farts of the belly aches.  Not eating dairy eliminated both.  So now I'm trying to not eat dairy, but I had no idea how hard that would be.  My favorite foods are pizza and ice cream.  My low-fat, low-carb diet was big on low-fat cottage cheese, cheese, and yogurt.  And did you know there is milk in a mocha?  I didn't.  And that cheese danish I ordered yesterday without thinking: also has dairy.  Almost everything I love has dairy in it - so I don't know what to eat. 

Low-fat, low-carb, non-dairy diet.  Try saying that really fast - Low-Fat, Low-Carb, Non-Dairy Diet.  It's fun to say! I think it's even a little more fun if you do a little dance while you say it - or sing it.  "Low-fat, low-carb, non-dairy diet!"  And the little dance burns a few calories, which I'm all about now. 

It's fun to say - but following the diet is really hard.  On the other hand, I'm really sick of being overweight.  REALLY sick of it.  Capital letters sick of it.  I've been on the other end - I used to be underweight and then I became diabetic and gained 60lbs.  I was a healthy, self-confident weight 20lbs ago.  That's where I want to be.  I've decided to do something about it - something drastic.  Besides following my fun-to-say diet, I'm going to exercise.  I have been exercising!  I'm going to exercise at least 1/2 an hour three times a week.  I've already exercised 4 times in the last week and I plan to exercise today.  Go. Me. Go.

My lungs don't like the exercise and my muscles aren't extremely happy either - but they'll get used to it.  I'm now doing my best to lose weight and I won't stop until that scale says 160.  Because at 160 I feel confident, happy and healthy.  At 160 I still have a ways to go until I'm underweight.  I have 30ish extra pounds in case I get sick and lose some weight.  I don't want to be underweight again either. 

When I was underweight every day was a struggle with food.  I didn't want to eat it, but I needed it so badly.  I was threatened with a g-tube by my doctors and my mom made me drink a giant chocolate malt with each meal - which sounds like a dream but in reality it's scary.  A different scary than I'm currently experiencing.  Currently I'm at the "if I gain any more weight nothing will fit me" scary.  And I'm done. 

So I'm doing my best to lose weight so I can be the best me I can be. 

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