Learning To Live

Uber Fail. I don't know why I even attempt anymore. Every time I try I get outsmarted and fail. I hate laundry. Yes, my laundry outsmarts me. Shut up. I started a load of laundry on Tuesday morning because I was feeling really good. I had done the dishes and thought "Hell yes! I can do some laundry!" And tonight - as of 11:40 pm on Wednesday, the laundry is still in the washing machine. Fuck. I will probably move the whole load to a laundry basket before I go to bed, but I'm pretty sure the whole load needs to be re-washed. And I get winded putting the laundry in the washing machine. Oh, and I'm out of Bread AND Milk. Uber Life Fail. ...Let me know if you love laundry, or me, or both - both would be good. Then you could come do my laundry and tell me I'm not a failure at the same time. Or tell me I'm not a failure while I take an Uber long nap. And tell me again that I'm not a failure when I wake up four hours after I meant to wake up. And ...

Today I went to get groceries. I went to Target (Super Target) because it's slightly smaller area to walk in, plus they have my deodorant and toothpaste in the same stop. When I got home, I took the frozen/refrigerated stuff and brought it up with me into the house. The rest of the groceries are still in my car. I put away the groceries and then sat on the couch to catch my breath. I planned on going to games night in a couple hours, but instead, I woke up 4 hours later. Now, I have accepted my limits fairly well, but this is one that pisses me off. I should be able to get my own groceries! How can I live on my own if I can't get my own groceries? I mean, I also showered today, went to my therapist and stopped at St. Vinnny's to get more photo frames, but I still should be able to get my groceries. ...and the laundry I started this morning is still in the washer.

*Why would you call someone you know DOESN'T LIKE YOU and request a favor or information??? Especially when it is someone I consider part of what I like to call the "Dancing Triumvirate of Evil." Guys are dumb. So way dumb. *Out of all the things I wanted to do today, I only got the dishes done. You have no idea how much my heart hurts because I don't have the energy to fold my laundry and now it is becoming a wrinkled mess and I may have to wash it again - hold that thought - SOMEONE ELSE may have to re-wash it. *This is a noticeable difference from last spring/summer. I am noticing how little I can do and it is pissing me off to the max. *Total number of hours slept in the last 24: 16.5 - that's since midnight. I have slept 16.5 hours since midnight - and I was talking my anti-sleeping meds. I have a problem. *I sure hope I can stay awake during this movie.

Let's see if I'm more or less clever at 2am. I went to bed at 9pm hoping to get a good night of sleep before a huge day of dancing tomorrow. May not be quite as huge if one of the kids in our two-step routine can't make it back because of the snow. Then I might hit my head against the wall because we are going to suck. Less than a month until showcase. Are you kidding me??? **** I got my mystery rash again today. I woke up and it was SNOWING - and I had a cute, adorable, irresistible spring outfit planned out. Man, was I bummed when it was snowing. I ate breakfast, got said mystery rash, and went back to bed. My brother got into a car wreck because of the snow, so I was upset because I had asked for help, and now since my brother wasn't going to be able to come down, my parents were ignoring me. My mother yells at me because doing my laundry is hard. I'm sorry I get worn out when I do laundry, but I do. That's just the way it is. I started my laundry ...