Learning To Live

I love fall.  I'm not a pumpkin spice girl, but I am a boots girl.  I bought two new pairs this fall because I love boots so much - I have boots in 4 colors now.  So I think I'm set for awhile. Today I went and put on my leggings and top, and as I was putting on my socks I had a flashback to last fall - which was pretty damn rough.  So I wanted to make a list of things I am thankful for today that weren't possible last year. I'm thankful that I was able to put my socks on today - all by myself - and then I was able to walk to a different room and put on my boots - all by myself.  All this, while not wearing oxygen.  Last year I had to have Dan help me get dressed and undressed most days because it was too hard to breathe and get dressed at the same time.   I'm thankful that I can shower on my own - a real shower, in the shower.  Last year Dan was helping me clean up in the bathtub and washing my hair.  But I'm well enough to do it all by myself. I'm

Last Wednesday Dan and I went to a quaint little restaurant for dinner.  We sat down and ordered, and I told Dan I would go to the bathroom and be right back.  I walked to the bathroom and as I pushed open the door this wave of memories hit me. The peacock wallpaper reminded me how hard it was to push the door open and how I couldn't breathe just from trying to walk the 50ish feet from our table to the bathroom.  The memories were from the last time we were there, about December 26th. We were there for brunch that day, and it was a struggle to get me out of the house.  It was a struggle to get me out of the car and into the restaurant.  I had a coughing spell and had to sit down in the front area of the restaurant and catch my breath before I could hobble and gasp my way to where my friends were seated.  Soon after I sat down, I had to go to the bathroom.  Dan offered to walk me there because I was breathing so poorly, but I refused his help because I thought, "if I can't

It took me EIGHT months, but I got my FEV1 back up to 40%.  I'm being discharged from the hospital today and don't have to do home IVs this time.