Can I trade my Genes in for something? Another set of Genes? A pair of Jeans that fit correctly? I'm getting a little tired of MY Genes (sorry Mom and Dad - you kinda gave me the short end of the stick).
The last straw was tiny in comparison to my cystic fibrosis, my PTSD or my depression, but it was one more thing wrong with me and I broke.
I have dandruff.
I know, I know. Use the special shampoos, use the special drops and it's pretty much gone. But it's one more thing I'm supposed to take care of, and it arrived the same week as the realization I need oxygen at night. And I just couldn't handle it. I had the urge to hit my head with my hairbrush because I had no idea what else to do. Really? Are you serious? I have ONE MORE THING wrong? And this time it's visible?
I don't know what to do. This shouldn't be a big deal, but I feel like the world has crash landed in my lap. I think it's everything combined making me dizzy.
As much as I really wanted the oxygen, I also DIDN'T want it. Because, honestly, who wants to have to have a huge Big Ugly in their dining room so they can breathe at night. And there's a giant oxygen tank, too. And I have to get used to wearing the O2 at night again. And the best way to do that? Tape it to my face for the first few weeks until I'm used to it and won't take it off in my sleep.
I wanted the O2 to work immediately and to stop feeling tired and to get all sorts of things done and conquer the world this week, when in all honesty, I still need naps. Not as many naps - but I need naps. And that's frustrating for me.
And to make everything that much more frustrating, I lost my favorite nurse. Seriously, world? What did I do??? So I have no idea who my new nurse will be, but she/he will not be as cool and fun as Cindy. I love her to death. There is one good thing about Cindy not being my nurse - we can be friends without it being weird now.
Don't get me started on the dating stuff... I just want to give up altogether, but I guess I'll keep up with the online stuff for laughs and giggles.
Today I have to do something to make me smile. Because I need it.
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