Learning To Live

My mom and I special ordered a couch for my house. I call it the New Couch. It is scheduled to arrive in late April - 12 weeks from when we ordered it. This is a little glimpse into the world of waiting for the New Couch. First, I have too much furniture. Not only too I have too much furniture, but I'm itching for more. Not really itching for more furniture in particular, but itching for more space to PUT more furniture. And more furniture would be handy to store the copious amounts of stuff I already have. Like Yarn. Specifically, I want a craft room. So much of my stuff is craft related. I scrapbook, make art w/ paper and photos, and make greeting cards. I also do many other paper-related things. I have lots of paper. I knit. A lot. Therefore I have more yarn than any human should own. I sew. Mainly things with straight lines, like quilts, but I'm going to try and venture out into all kinds of sewing and get more serious about quilting. I'm currently workin...

The world Always spinning Always spinning Always spinning I ask it to slow I tell it to stop Always spinning Always spinning Always spinning Out of control I can't catch up Always spinning Always spinning Always spinning Such a big world So much to do Always spinning Always spinning Always spinning Big dreams floating Just out of reach Always spinning Always spinning Always spinning Reaching high Falling low Always spinning The world Always spinning -- Post From My iPhone

Normally, I am a very good, very enthusiastic babysitter. I love the kids and I don't mind doing things like changing diapers and making lunch. But today, I am tired. So I sort of made it a game. Like "Can I change the baby in the time it takes the easy mac to cook?" YES! "Can I feed the baby in the time it takes the mac to cool?" NO "How about by the time the 4-year-old finishes lunch have the baby down for a nap so I can take one?" YES And then there are the things I REALLY want to say, but don't. 4-year-old: Can I watch TV? Me: No. Her: Why? Me: Because I said so. Her: But I want to. Me: But too much TV is bad for you. Her: Why? Me: Because it is. Her: But what does it do to you? Me: IT ROTS YOUR BRAIN AND YOU WILL GROW UP STUPID AND DIE. But instead I said, Just go do something else, please. Her: Oops! The spoon fell! Now it's dirty! (I pick it up, wipe it on my pants and continue to feed the baby) Her: YOU JUST WIPED IT ON YOUR PANTS!!...

I'm sick. Most of the time I don't look sick, but I am. And often, I need help. I have goals and dreams and ideas and I don't have the energy to accomplish 1/3 of the things I want to do in a day. I'm overwhelmingly thankful about my lungs. My lungs are doing pretty good. More than pretty good - great! It's been 7 months since I got sick enough to need IV antibiotics. I can't stress enough how big a miracle this is - I was doing IVs every 2.5 to 3 months. But now that my lungs are okay I'm frustrated because I still don't have the energy to get everything done. I have MORE energy, but I still need so much sleep and rest. And I think and feel that many people are confused as to why I'm still a mess if my lungs are okay. Some of it is my sinuses, but I'm working on getting them cleaned out so I don't have to have surgery this year, *cross your fingers.* Most of it, is my fibromyalgia. For whatever reason, it's kicking my butt....

I'm on my way to making it SEVEN months without IV antibiotics. A couple years ago I went 5 months, but since then it has been every 2.5 or 3 months. I'm so thankful for this, and the choices I made to make it possible (and the story is long and I'm still too chicken to talk about it). I'm having some problems with energy and fibromyalgia. This has been frustrating for me because my lungs are doing so well. Also a few problems with my sinuses. Bleh. I'm working on a few posts that I really want to get written and posted. I'm working on a quilt - my hospital quilt (but maybe I'll never need to use it there!). I will be knitting a dress, and probably working on some new projects! Because of my energy, I haven't been able to dance as much as I want to, but I'm still dancing occasionally. All in all, things are good. Fewer naps and having all my stuff organized would make it better, but I'm happy. Hopefully I'll get the meaningful posts I...

I'm wishing for the rest of my energy to return. I think I'm so sleepy because of a sinus infection, so hopefully I'll keep doing stuff to clear out my sinuses and I'll keep getting better. I am wishing for the energy to sort through all my stuff that needs sorting. I want my place to be neat and organized. Maybe I should just invite my friends over one by one and force them to sort stuff for me. Silly me. Wishful thinking. I don't know how I'll ever get things sorted. -- Post From My iPhone