The Best Babysitter

Normally, I am a very good, very enthusiastic babysitter. I love the kids and I don't mind doing things like changing diapers and making lunch. But today, I am tired. So I sort of made it a game.

Like "Can I change the baby in the time it takes the easy mac to cook?" YES!
"Can I feed the baby in the time it takes the mac to cool?" NO
"How about by the time the 4-year-old finishes lunch have the baby down for a nap so I can take one?" YES

And then there are the things I REALLY want to say, but don't.

4-year-old: Can I watch TV?
Me: No.
Her: Why?
Me: Because I said so.
Her: But I want to.
Me: But too much TV is bad for you.
Her: Why?
Me: Because it is.
Her: But what does it do to you?
Me: IT ROTS YOUR BRAIN AND YOU WILL GROW UP STUPID AND DIE.

But instead I said, Just go do something else, please.

Her: Oops! The spoon fell! Now it's dirty!
(I pick it up, wipe it on my pants and continue to feed the baby)
Her: YOU JUST WIPED IT ON YOUR PANTS!!
Me: Yes I did.
Her: But your pants are dirty!
Me: No they aren't they have magical spoon cleaning powers.
Her: No they don't, they have hair on them.

Well played, kid. I had no comeback except, I'M TOO TIRED TO GO GET A NEW SPOON! I WANT A NAP!!! But I just fed the baby silently.

And it's probably not nice to swear at the baby, no matter HOW frustrated you are that all he wants to do is chew on the spoon and not eat lunch. Leaving the swear words out can be hard on days like today.

Comments

Kyra S. said…
So in love and logic they have excellent "argument ending statements". Basically things which leave the kid more frustrated than you are. My favorite is: "I love you too much to argue." Can be liberally applied to any argument, and really there is no comeback to it. Its great!
March 26, 2010 at 1:07 PM
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