My Attending said he thinks a CF patient will figure out the disease before a researcher after he and I had a long conversation. I just wish that person could be me. I'm tired of suffering and watching my friends suffer. We have to put on a smile and try to get through each day without complaining, while we're suffering--and expected to handle it like a champ. It's almost like people expect CFers to be tough and be unrealistically positive, keeping up the pace with the outside world, and exercising until our legs fall off. Why is this? Most people are laid out with the flu and yet we have to be superhuman without enough oxygen or lung function to get across the room.
And I replied to her:
Meranda - thanks for these words. I feel that we really get life and most others don't. We know not to take the ability to climb a flight of stairs for granted. We know to treasure each and every one of our friends. We're just a little more tuned in. In that way, and only that way is my CF a blessing.And I stick by my words. Today I am happy and dancing around because I have a little energy to dance around. I went to the gift shop and bought myself some things because I had the energy to go to the gift shop. I've only taken one short nap today. (I plan on taking another, but not a long nap). I'm happy because my hair is going to get washed - and my boyfriend is going to wash it for me. And I have a boyfriend. These are the reasons I am really happy today.
Tomorrow I will be happy because I'm going home from the hospital and I get to eat at the CHEESECAKE Factory. Mmmm cheesecake.
It's days like these where I'm not at my healthiest that I try to find a couple things to be really happy about.