Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Happy Birthday!!!

First, a very Happy 24th Birthday (today) to my best friend since Kindergarten, Sarah Lynn. I love you!

One year ago tonight I was helping another best friend push. And push and push and push. She pushed herself to the very limit, and I'll never know how she found the strength to do it. I don't think I could have.

While I didn't actually witness the moment of birth of my (honorary) nephew, Luca, just being there for the whole experience was something I will always treasure. I know that my body isn't strong enough to carry a child (not to mention that my mind isn't healthy enough to be without my happy pills), so being around the strength, pain, and most importantly the love of the process of childbirth was a true gift.

I wandered the halls of the hospital that night, waiting for Chris, Kyra and New Baby Luca to return from the recovery room. It was so quiet - but a happy, peaceful quiet. I've wandered many halls of hospitals late at night. I loved being on the maternity wing. When I'm a patient in the hospital, wandering around always has an eerie quality - it's the hospital, all the sick people. But on a floor with new babies, there's a little bit of magic in the air. I soaked up all the magic I could because I knew I'd never be there to deliver a baby, and I'd probably never get the opportunity to become an Auntie biologically (with just the one gay brother and all).

A brand new baby. I can't believe Luca was born a year ago tonight. Just thinking about it I can feel all the emoitions of that evening rushing back. The excitement of bringing a new life into the world - the opportunity to mold a person and help a little one explore his surroundings.

Love. That is the only emotion I felt as I held you for the first time, Luca. One year ago tonight you came into my life, Mr. Big, and I'm so happy you finally graced us with your presence. This has been one of the best years of my life - you always make me smile. And now you know when you're funny, and you laugh at yourself. And that only makes me laugh harder.

We celebrated Luca's first birthday over the weekend - and again, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Watching you grow, learn, and play makes me realize the importance of little things and the insignificance of certain bigger things.

I love you, Luca! Happy 1st Birthday!!!

Auntie Carla

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