"Mmmbop"

All I can hear is "In an Mmmbop they're gone."

On September 14th my best CF friend Lauren passed away.  And I still can't really talk about it.  I went to her grave both Saturday and Sunday and all I want to do is cry because I miss her so much, but I know she would want me to stay strong and keep on. 

I wrote down some words today while watching TV - words that remind me of Lauren and how I feel about her death. 

Empty - it's how I feel
Laughter - it's what I hear when I think of her
Brewers Games - she loved them so much
Perkins - one of my favorite memories
65 Roses - we both have it
Fundraising Queen - she had me beat
Bloated Bellies - and that amazing picture of Laura, Lauren and Erin
Birthdays - she never forgot one.  
Tears - I've shed so many

Lucky Ladybugs - we'll be forever
Love - it's what she was all about

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

CF Contact

Image
Me and Trinity: What a cutie! Chest PT on a baby: The Cystic Fibrosis Foundation discourages any contact among CF patients. Personally, I think this is overreacting at its best. Yes, some precautions need to be taken, but it has been blown totally out of proportion. I am writing this because the other night at Concert on the Square I held Trinity. Her mom handed her over to me, and we were talking and then she told me that Trinity has CF. I asked if I should take precautions and her mom said that it was okay for me to interact with her - and I feel that as long as the parent says it's okay, it's okay with me. And I did her chest pt - and it was a nice break for the parents. They have three children under three and two of them have CF. They have a 3-year-old with CF, an 18-month-old without, and Trinity, 2-months-old, with CF. If any family needs a break it's this one. I have always wanted to work with CF kids - and I know how much the CF Foundation would have nothin
Read more

Abuse

 Abuse. This is going to be long, but it’s important.   If you only read the beginning, I want you to know:   If you are a survivor of abuse, or going through an abusive situation, you are not the abuse.   You don’t have to let it define you, and while it’s hard to move on, you can.   I want to end the stigma for abuse victims – which is why I’m writing this.   I want there to be stigma for the abusers, not the abused.   I need to practice saying, “My mother is abusive.” I don’t know why it still hurts so much so long after it happened.   I know she still hates me.   My dad has to be careful mentioning me to my mom or she’ll flip out.   Why does it bother me so much that someone who could be so awful to me doesn’t like me?               A few days ago – January 10 th , a memory popped up of a note I had typed in 2008.   The gist is, I was sick.   My mom was staying with me and I was doing home IVs.   Keep in mind I was 21 when this happened.   I packed and took my 9pm IV dose w
Read more

Social Media Break

Today, on Facebook I posted, "I want to delete my social media apps for the entire month of October, or until I'm feeling better, but I know I'll never be able to do it.  I rely on photos of friends' kiddos and food and sewing projects to keep my spirits up, and I worry about my CF and Transplant friends, and I want to stay in touch with everyone.  I want to encourage my friends who are also going through tough things and just be there to support anyone who needs a supportive ear.  So I won't delete my social media, but I won't be monitoring it as closely.  I'll be limiting my time spent scrolling, and I'll avoid all the political articles.  Go to my blog for the longer explanation of how I'm doing."  Yesterday was “Mean Girls” Day, October 3 rd , and George suggested we watch it.   I know he wanted to cheer me up and help, but I got sucked into the internet – again – and ended up binging on articles about PTSD.   I read about PTSD and chronic
Read more