Blocked
I feel blocked tonight.
I usually come to the library on Wednesday nights, now, and write for at least one hour. I used to go dancing on Wednesday nights, but lately I've had so many issues with my legs getting swollen or my lungs not being the best, or being afraid of catching something. I am sad that my pre-transplant dreams of dancing up a storm went up in smoke with the complications I had and still have. I thought I'd be joining my friends in advanced classes, dance weekends, and private lessons. I took a couple more advanced classes last summer - but I was too sick to continue. I was always getting nauseated or nearly passing out during the more challenging parts. My body still can't keep up and it pisses me off. Also, my financial situation is almost the exact opposite of what it was when I was married. When I still had CF lungs, I didn't mind if I missed a class here or there, even though I'd already paid, because money wasn't a big deal. It's a bigger deal now, and I feel I need to attend every class I sign up for, and my attendance record is spotty, at best. So now, I come to the library and write instead.
Well, I usually write, but tonight, I feel stuck. I was first trying to write my review of "Five Feet Apart," but the right words wouldn't come. Next, I tried working on my book, but I didn't feel like working on the piece on my mother (which is almost done, yahoo!), and I'm feeling too lazy to think much. The next two pieces I have to work on are about my brother, Darin, and my ex-husband and they will take some more thought to become cohesive.
I guess was also feeling lazy yesterday when I laid out a quilting project I'm working on. I didn't pin the backing to the carpet like I usually do, so when I went to quilt it today, the back ended up all wonky. I then spent about an hour and 1/2 ripping out what took me a 1/2 hour to do. So, now I can't stop thinking about what a waste my day has been.
I usually really get into my writing on Wednesdays at the library. It's quiet and peaceful, but today I am antsy.
I mean, I just spent 40 minutes playing Bejeweled, and about 10 minutes looking for my mom's mac and cheese recipe (by the way, it's from the Taste of Home website... it's with Gruyere and white cheddar cheeses, and it's AMAZING). And I spent the rest of the hour absentmindedly typing this random blog post, when I have much more important things to work on.
Well, now my hour is up. And look! A blog post!
I usually come to the library on Wednesday nights, now, and write for at least one hour. I used to go dancing on Wednesday nights, but lately I've had so many issues with my legs getting swollen or my lungs not being the best, or being afraid of catching something. I am sad that my pre-transplant dreams of dancing up a storm went up in smoke with the complications I had and still have. I thought I'd be joining my friends in advanced classes, dance weekends, and private lessons. I took a couple more advanced classes last summer - but I was too sick to continue. I was always getting nauseated or nearly passing out during the more challenging parts. My body still can't keep up and it pisses me off. Also, my financial situation is almost the exact opposite of what it was when I was married. When I still had CF lungs, I didn't mind if I missed a class here or there, even though I'd already paid, because money wasn't a big deal. It's a bigger deal now, and I feel I need to attend every class I sign up for, and my attendance record is spotty, at best. So now, I come to the library and write instead.
Well, I usually write, but tonight, I feel stuck. I was first trying to write my review of "Five Feet Apart," but the right words wouldn't come. Next, I tried working on my book, but I didn't feel like working on the piece on my mother (which is almost done, yahoo!), and I'm feeling too lazy to think much. The next two pieces I have to work on are about my brother, Darin, and my ex-husband and they will take some more thought to become cohesive.
I guess was also feeling lazy yesterday when I laid out a quilting project I'm working on. I didn't pin the backing to the carpet like I usually do, so when I went to quilt it today, the back ended up all wonky. I then spent about an hour and 1/2 ripping out what took me a 1/2 hour to do. So, now I can't stop thinking about what a waste my day has been.
I usually really get into my writing on Wednesdays at the library. It's quiet and peaceful, but today I am antsy.
I mean, I just spent 40 minutes playing Bejeweled, and about 10 minutes looking for my mom's mac and cheese recipe (by the way, it's from the Taste of Home website... it's with Gruyere and white cheddar cheeses, and it's AMAZING). And I spent the rest of the hour absentmindedly typing this random blog post, when I have much more important things to work on.
Well, now my hour is up. And look! A blog post!
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