Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Trading Genes

Can I trade my Genes in for something?  Another set of Genes?  A pair of Jeans that fit correctly?  I'm getting a little tired of MY Genes (sorry Mom and Dad - you kinda gave me the short end of the stick). 

The last straw was tiny in comparison to my cystic fibrosis, my PTSD or my depression, but it was one more thing wrong with me and I broke. 

I have dandruff. 

I know, I know.  Use the special shampoos, use the special drops and it's pretty much gone.  But it's one more thing I'm supposed to take care of, and it arrived the same week as the realization I need oxygen at night.  And I just couldn't handle it.  I had the urge to hit my head with my hairbrush because I had no idea what else to do.  Really?  Are you serious?  I have ONE MORE THING wrong?  And this time it's visible? 

I don't know what to do.  This shouldn't be a big deal, but I feel like the world has crash landed in my lap.  I  think it's everything combined making me dizzy. 

As much as I really wanted the oxygen, I also DIDN'T want it.  Because, honestly, who wants to have to have a huge Big Ugly in their dining room so they can breathe at night.  And there's a giant oxygen tank, too.  And I have to get used to wearing the O2 at night again.  And the best way to do that?  Tape it to my face for the first few weeks until I'm used to it and won't take it off in my sleep.

I wanted the O2 to work immediately and to stop feeling tired and to get all sorts of things done and conquer the world this week, when in all honesty, I still need naps.  Not as many naps - but I need naps.  And that's frustrating for me. 

And to make everything that much more frustrating, I lost my favorite nurse.  Seriously, world?  What did I do???  So I have no idea who my new nurse will be, but she/he will not be as cool and fun as Cindy.  I love her to death.  There is one good thing about Cindy not being my nurse - we can be friends without it being weird now. 

Don't get me started on the dating stuff... I just want to give up altogether, but I guess I'll keep up with the online stuff for laughs and giggles. 

Today I have to do something to make me smile.  Because I need it.

2 comments:

redrover189 said...

I hate stuff like that - you have a crappy day (or a life in which you've not been dealt the fairest cards) and then one more things comes along and it just finally touches off the powder keg and you have a melt down...I mean, not that this happens to me on a regular basis or anything...

But, hopefully to make your day even slightly better...Head and Shoulders does "better" dandruff shampoos now that still work, but smell good and leave your hair all silky. Again...not that I'd know or anything...

But seriously - *hugs* I know hearing again and again that "It'll all be ok" isn't helpful (and is SUPER annoying), so what I'll say is: You've proven time and time again that you're stronger than what the world can throw at you. Big Ugly sucks BUT it'll help in the long run and get you back to the fiesty biatch that we know and love!

Jennifer said...

Hey chicka. Just wanted to give you a thought .. it may not be "dandruff" perse. For me, my dandruff was actually ... wait for it ... yeast. Over the Counter Shampoo called Nizoral took care of my problem. I used it three times a week in the beginning. Now I only use it every other month. The "Dandruff" itself hasn't shown itself in a long long time. After a couple of months of strictly using Nizoral, I was able to use other shampoos only. Most of the time I would use the Nizoral first .. then use regular shampoo (for the smell although Nizoral isn't bad smelling at all itself) .. then conditioner.

Just an idea. :)

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