Sunday, March 8, 2009

Doctor, Doctor

I was going through all my old emails and I found this joke my dad sent me on the first day of a hospital stay:

How may doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It depends:
1. Why do you need your light bulb changed?
2. Are you sure it's burned out?
3. I've never changed one before, know nothing about them, but now I'm in charge of light bulbs.
4. Light bulbs are expensive, this is unnecessary.
5. This is a "difficult" light bulb, it's uncooperative.
And finally a nurse or cleaning person just does it, because it needed to be done, or the patient just changes it herself!

Because that is how it works at UW.

I have been making a list of things I think all doctors should do before they receive their license.
Here are a few of them.

*Give a patient a sponge bath or a bed bath. This will give the doctor a little insight into what it is like for a nurse. Nurses work really hard and doctors should be nicer to them.

*Be bedridden and be given a sponge bath or a bed bath. This will hammer in how humiliating it can be to be a patient. They will see that the patient feels helpless, trapped, and weirded out because some stranger is bathing them. Because I really love it when I feel like crap and a stranger is wiping my ass.

*Apply for Social Security Disability. And then receive the denial letter, and file the appeal. Repeat several times until you get accepted. This shit is HARD. Even for someone who graduated at the top of her high school class it's confusing. Try imagine doing it if you have a mental disability or just an IQ lower than 130.

*Pretend you are on SSI and based on what you would be given, try and live off of that money for a month. And then realize you don't have co-pays either.

*Have someone try and start an IV on you and fail 12 times and see how happy you are when they want to try a 13th time. Because this happened to me.

*Spend the night in the hospital. You have finally fallen asleep in the hospital bed, and then two hours later have a staff member come in, turn on all the lights and ask complicated questions. Extra points if they draw your blood at 5:30am. My point is to show you I'm not "difficult," I'm tired and grumpy because YOU woke me up.

1 comment:

CFlover said...

Kudos Kidos Kudos!!!!
How about falling asleep and coming in at 3:00am to get your trash!!!!!!!
Oh! They should need pancrease pills from pharmacy at 12:00 for lunch and then get them at 5:45 thats awesome too

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