Monday, September 15, 2008

Make it Stop

This is me complaining because I won't complain anywhere but here.

I don't want to lay on the couch in pain anymore.
I am tired of rotting my brain with stupid television (yes, I've already watched everything worth watching... twice. Honestly, I've seen nearly every episode of Law and Order. That is how much television I watch).
When I read my book I fall asleep.
I'm tired of sleeping all day, eating dinner, maybe doing something in the evening - but usually waiting by myself in front of the television until it is 9pm so I can go to bed.
I want to dance again. Well, I'm still dancing - I just dance until I nearly pass out from pain. GOOD STRATEGY, Carla. Well, fuck you, voice of reason in my head.
I want to sort the rest of my stuff so my house is organized. FUCK I'm so close - and I can't finish it.
I want this to go away. It's not something that was in my CF contract. I got it out and looked. Pelvis pain is NOT in there. Dying from lung disease I can handle - not being able to do anything because my pelvis hurts pisses me off.

I'm now going to curl up and cry now. I hate this so much. I hate that I'm alone and doing this on my own so much. Although a GIANT thank you to Chris and Kyra who check up on me :-) And Michael and Amelia too. Thanks to Chris for getting me groceries - I just can't walk that much right now.

I'm done. I will go watch something lame on the television. I'll let you know how it goes - oh wait, it was lame.

1 comment:

gahitstoni said...

You had honestly better start feeling better, and soon. I don't want to have to come... over... there. Over, right? Haha.

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