Saturday, December 13, 2008

Yeah, I'm Going There

I am hopelessly liberal. I thought one day I might be able to fight it and understand a conservative view point, but that day has yet to come. Conservative view points make my stomach churn, my eyes bleed, and my legs twitch. Well that last one could be restless legs syndrome, but the first two are an inability to understand bigotry. I know that not being able to understand how someone else could think like that makes me bigoted in my own way, so no need to point that out to me. That's why I'm writing this. I'd like to get over my bigoted thoughts of hate towards those who are bigoted, hateful people.

Today, my nurse and I started discussing movies, leading to Heath Ledger and his role in "Brokeback Mountain." I said that I felt the movie was okay. Giant pause, my nurse said he didn't see it because he didn't want to watch gay cowboys. I shut my mouth so fast so all those hateful "you hate gay people" comments weren't allowed to escape. My nurse went on to say that one could just "turn into an episode of Brothers And Sisters or Grey's Anatomy and find gays and lesbians." I saw nothing wrong with this. I am completely routing for the lesbian relationships on Grey's (I'm also routing for the alive person-dead person relationship too, but that's just because I think they totally jumped the shark with it). My nurse said, "Gay is now cool, heterosexuality is no longer cool." I thought about it for awhile, and have come to some conclusions.

I don't think it's a matter of "cool" vs. "uncool." If it were "cool" to be gay many more people would be choosing to go that way. Gay isn't something you choose, it's something you ARE. Like being naturally blonde, or tall, they aren't things you can easily change. Yes, you can dye your hair or slouch all the time, but you will just look silly. (Not that all dyed hair looks silly - you just look silly trying to pull it off as your natural color - especially when you don't tint your eyebrows).

My own brother desperately tried to be straight before he realized he infact is very much a gay person. I have a friend from high school who did the same - although he didn't realize it in high school, and it even took him a while in college before he realized he is gay. In high school he was very out-spoken against the gays, but now that he knows he is gay, not only does he feel bad about the things he said, he realizes he was silly and also very gay all along.

I believe it isn't a matter of being gay or straight. Either way, it's a person. I believe you fall in love with a person - not a gender so it's very possible to be bisexual during various or all stages of your life (a topic my mother and I fiercely disagree on. She doesn't believe in bisexuality, claiming that if you are a bisexual you must be gay).

I read/listen to/stalk Dan Savage on a daily basis . I'm not going to hide it. I think his ideas about people are spot on most of the time, and he knows what he's talking about. I agree that everyone has some queer in them, whether they will admit it or not. And to some extent, whether society will ever admit it or not, I agree that people are not monogomous creatures and so cheating isn't the issue. It's the honesty, or lack thereof, that is the issue.

Side Note: I was appaled to learn my gay brother didn't know who Dan Savage was, despite the fact that he reads The Onion. I said yesterday to my friends, "Dan Savage is four quarters of the reason I pick up The Onion." And it's true. I don't usually read anything besides Savage Love unless I'm dying of boredom at the hospital. Then I will read all the really short things first and move onto longer things as my wait time increases.


Laura said...

Everyone's a little bit queer.... it's so true. Hooray for bashing fallacious and socially constructed dichotomous gender norms!

gahitstoni said...

I love gay people! Most of my best friends are gay, and I hate people that are so close minded about everything. Good topic. :-D

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