Saturday, October 18, 2008


I can't sleep.

I really want to sleep because I have to get up in the morning. I have a fun day planned for tomorrow and the next day - and they will be full days. I want to be at my best. I need to get sleep. But instead of sleeping I am up typing because I found myself hurting myself as I was trying to fall asleep. I was thinking about the things that are bothering me and I was clawing at my back. Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain. I know how to deal with physical pain - it's the emotional stuff that really gets to me. I hate that I'm still awake.

I keep thinking about one thing over and over and it's driving me nuts. I'm thinking "what's so special about her?" and "what's so wrong with me?"

I don't get it.

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