Monday, April 28, 2008

The Universe

My father told me the other night when I said, "the universe hates me," that the universe doesn't have the capability to hate. I'd like to argue that.

I can't talk about things. Not here, not yet, maybe not ever. These things that are happening - like the lovely surprise I found this morning. If I ignore everything will it go away??? That hasn't worked so far with the dishes, sadly. But these issues are so much bigger than the dishes.

For the rest of the day I will be trying to ignore the world by hiding in my place. Yes. Bye bye computer.

1 comment:

BreathinSteven said...

Hey Lady...

It may be all semantics, but your father may have a point, and some might consider the capability of the universe to actually be worse than hate...

I once heard someone explain that the opposite of love is not hate - the opposite of love is indifference... And maybe that's the depressing thing about the universe - it doesn't love or hate us, it's just indifferent about us. At least if it hated us, it would know we existed... Part of me feels indifference is worse than hate...

And nope - ignoring things will generally not make them go away - and sometimes, like with the dishes, it gets harder to clean things up...

I wish life were easier for you, Carla... We're blessed with all of the problems that every "normal" person has - but there are also a lot of other things racing around in our tiny minds that others are not always blessed with - like "this disease is going to kill me" - like "will I fall madly in love before it does" - like "will someone fall madly in love with me regardless of all the baggage I'm carrying" - like "do people truly understand what I face every morning when I get up..."

I don't know that life, or the universe, is fair or unfair, full of love, hate or indifference... We all have different things on our plate - we all have some wonderful things, and some problems - and some of us seem to have more slop on our plates than others...

It's strength inside of us, and also the people around us, that make it easy or difficult to live with what life or the universe dishes out... I think you have pretty incredible strength, though you might not always feel it's there... I hope you can gravitate towards the people who make it easier to deal with all of the things on your plate...

Love,

Steve

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