So I thought I told everyone this was done. I did that, right? The whole bashing me and Toni commenting thing was over. Right? I swear I may have mentioned that once, twice or a million times.
Anyways, she IMed me this today (I am aware some of you advised me to block her, but I always feel really bad about blocking people - some of you may remember the "Blocking Alex" attempt of 2005. I felt so guilty about blocking him on facebook that I un-blocked him and re-friended him. He never even noticed that I had blocked him in the first place. Right. I could have many things to say about the whole Alex thing, but I'll move on and go back to talking about Toni, hopefully for the VERY. LAST. TIME. ...and I'm so fucking serious about that.).
I'm also including what I wrote... Maybe I was a little harsh, but I don't think this girl understands how little I even care about what she says. It no longer has meaning to me because she has made a complete fool of herself. Personally I can't even respect someone who would try to convince me that my depression is my fault instead of a chemical imbalance in my brain. Okay, so here's what she wrote (I've added comments in italics... and when this happened I was trying to leave to be on time to my CF group meeting):
gahitstoni: This is not me being mean, it's just a quote you can analyze and apply to yourself: Once you have started seeing the beauty of life, ugliness starts disappearing. If you start looking at life with joy, sadness starts disappearing. You cannot have heaven and hell together, you can have only one. It is your choice.
(She doesn't get how I view life. She has no idea. I view life as wonderful and amazing and full of opportunities and love and greatness. It's how I look at everything. My ranting in my blog may not always reflect that, but that's what I do already. By this point I am just too pissed to even care about her or anything she wants to say to me)
BailarSinLimites: you don't know me. go away.
gahitstoni: you block my comments just because you know they are true
gahitstoni: they wouldnt get at you if they didnt hit home
BailarSinLimites: i block your comment b/c i'm done listening to your bullshit and i have no idea why the hell you keep bothering me
gahitstoni: because you did that! i was going to comment that your new blogs havent been bad. but i figured you would block positive comments as well. theres no point with you
gahitstoni: im just asking you to take a step back and see things the way i see them
BailarSinLimites: i will block comments from you
gahitstoni: and maybe you will understand why i dont believe half the things i do
BailarSinLimites: you don't know me. you don't know how much I DO look at the bright side of life - how much i love life
BailarSinLimites: and i will NEVER believe anything you do
gahitstoni: you never showed it before. its bothersome when you constantly are negative
BailarSinLimites: Well then don't read it.
gahitstoni: you dont get it i dont think
gahitstoni: you have cf
gahitstoni: i care about you simply because of that
gahitstoni: but when you are all down
gahitstoni: i dont like you
BailarSinLimites: that's your problem, not mine
gahitstoni: so then i wont stop reading your blog. i want to know how you are doing. i just think you can go about saying some things in a positive way
gahitstoni: like that day you defended yourself by saying: you dont deal with cf, diabetes, fibromyalgia, ptsd, clinical depression.. yadda yadda
gahitstoni: that is what i call pulling out a serious sympathy card carla
BailarSinLimites: then you write a blog and say things YOUR positive way
BailarSinLimites: FUCK YOU
BailarSinLimites: I'm done.
BailarSinLimites: I have a meeting to go to
BailarSinLimites: a meeting with CF people who don't criticize me
gahitstoni: i am writing a blog actually
BailarSinLimites: good for you.
gahitstoni: they dont criticize you because they dont wnat to think they dislike a girl with cf. poor carla
gahitstoni: i do it because you need to see it the way EVERYONE else sees it, secretly or out in the open
BailarSinLimites: Shut the hell up.
BailarSinLimites: We're done toni.
Yes. Whatever is right. If you like, go hunt down Toni's blog and enjoy her Tom Cruise view of the world. I'm sure her blog is going to be Sunshine, Lollipop, Rainbows and Everything.
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