Saturday, May 3, 2008

A Hospital Rant: Day 1, Number 2

The Obnoxious Yet Pretty Sign On My Door

I just made a sign that says "NO ENTRY Except for Hospital Staff and Pre-Approved Visitors." Obnoxious, right? Right. But I'm hoping a certain someone across the hall will get the hint and not barge into my room when I am trying to get important things done - like watching Season Two of Grey's or ranting in my blog. Or even worse - SLEEPING.

This girl across the hall is sicker than I am. She has CF, and she was actually the first CFer I met - ever - but I can't stand her sometimes. Now, I try to be nice to everyone - especially people in difficult situations who just need someone to talk to - but she does way too much talking, and when I'm trying to get better in the hospital I have my own agenda and I want to stick to it. I want to read through magazines and take naps and just chill while the toxic drugs race through my system. At least for the first few days. After that I'm up for being a little more social - but I want my friends to come visit - and this is horribly selfish - but if I spend time with my friends there is just no time left for her.

I feel really bad and guilty for trying to get rid of her, but I don't know how much of her I can take. She's just THAT type of person. She has too many problems for me to wrap my head around and she just makes me tired.

She makes jokes I don't find funny. They are the type of joke I would have made in middle school - and maybe not even then. She may be nearing 30, but she acts like she's about 15. We're just very different types of people. When I get angry people fear me here, and for some reason when she gets angry they just kick her out early. As obnoxious as I am - I am obnoxious with purpose and I present my case in maybe a strange way, but I present my case and I am right. If I am going to get upset and raise hell it is because I know something is wrong and it needs to be fixed. I forcefully point this out. I don't know what she does differently, but I have a feeling it's just pointless arguing and the staff can't handle her.

I know she is needy - and she doesn't have people stay with her like my family usually does, which must be terribly hard, but I don't know what that's like. I have the support I love and it gets me through what I'm going through and it's hard to be sympathetic when I myself am very sick. I know she has latched onto the staff here and claimed them as "family." Now, I love some of the staff members dearly, but I try not to be in here but only a couple times a year, so I wouldn't consider them "family" exactly. And she tries to latch onto my family - and maybe I just don't want to share them. She told me today that my parents are invited to her wedding next summer (that in my opinion probably won't happen, but we'll see). Awkward. I can't see my parents attending her wedding - there are some family weddings they haven't gone to. I just can't see it.

They have made all sorts of new rules for the CFers, and when I talked to my nurse coordinator, she all but said they are specifically for her - the girl who hangs out at the nurses' station despite being in isolation. I would never do that. I stay in my room or wander around other parts of the hospital where they don't know I'm in isolation. I usually only wander to the cafeteria which is considered common space anyways.

Can you tell this girl gets on my nerves, just a little?

So I made my obnoxious sign. I used permanent marker and crayons. So it's pretty, even if it is offensive. I'll probably have to say it to her face anyways.

Speaking of anyways, I'm exhausted and just need to go to sleep. It's been an obnoxiously long day.

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