Monday, May 19, 2008

My Life, On Life, What I Want in Life.

My friend forwarded this to me. It's a forward that I normally wouldn't pass on (and I didn't), but the poem touched me so that I wanted to post it.

This is pretty much what I want in life.

For My Daughter
*Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry,
and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

*Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink,
and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

*Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off,
and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

*Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once,
not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck
and I will buy you one if he comes by.

*Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up,
or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

*Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies,
and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

*Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy
us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

*Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you
a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

*Just for this evening, I will let you splash in
the tub and not get angry.

*Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit
on the porch and count all the stars.

*Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours,
and miss my favorite TV shows.

*Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray,
I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

*I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms,
and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

*And when I kiss you good night I will hold you a little tighter,
a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and
ask Him for nothing, except one more day...........

I love children so much. I loved this poem and thought it was fabulous until I hit the line about the mothers and fathers visiting their children's graves - it made me think of a girl I was close to who died when I was 14. She was 9. Her family is always in my thoughts.

The line about mothers and fathers in hospital rooms made me cry. I know my parents didn't have to deal with me being in the hospital until I was a teenager - and then for surgeries. It wasn't my lungs until college - but I still know how much it hurts them. It hurts them more than it hurts me. I know I can handle whatever happens to me - but I know that a parent never wants to see their child in any pain. They don't know what I can handle - and don't want to find out what my limits are.

I know that as long as I have my family with me (and a few fabulous friends) I will never have a limit. I may get stir crazy in the hospital, but I will never reach the limit of what I can endure. Well, at least I hope not. I know right now as I look ahead I don't have a limit. Someday I might, but right now I can handle anything as long as I have my family and friends.

I think of the parents of children with CF who are in the hospital all the time. I know they are in pain - more pain then their child, and it breaks my heart.

A lot of what I feel is pain for what my mother has gone through. I know how much she has been hurt by my CF, and it's pretty much the only thing I feel guilty about in my life.

I just want to know how to ease the pain of the parents. Would knowing that the pain isn't so bad - knowing that being in the hospital isn't so bad - knowing that we're okay with the treatments and the pills and the way our lives are help?

It hasn't helped my mother. And the thing I want most in life is to help my mother. I want her to be happy and not be so sad that I have CF, because I know I'll be okay, but she won't be okay. I want my mother to be okay.

I know that if I am a mother some day, I will treasure every moment. I will treasure every time I have to get up in the middle of the night. Every hug and every kiss will be special. Everything my child says will be brilliant. Because for me, the opportunity to be a mother would be the most precious gift life could give me.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

could you contact me about the poem. It's a copyrighted poem that I wrote for my son Dhylan.

do a google search for 'Sally Meyer Poems'.

I dont mind you using it, but I do need my name and copyright on it


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