- "Kirk: Are you ignoring me?
Miss Patty: Since you were old enough to walk, Kirk." -Gilmore Girls
"Lorelai: Michel - the phone!
Michel: Yes. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No. People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them." - Gilmore Girls
"I know you think you're scary and damaged and it makes you feel like you don't deserve good things, but you do." - Grey's
"Nurse: Do you have any medical conditions?
Bartlet: Well, I've been shot." - The West Wing
From my favorite episode of West Wing EVER:
"Leo: Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of the White House, had a two-ton block of cheese.
Josh: And a Wheat Thin the size of Lake Tahoe." - The West Wing
"Lorelai: I'm going to go make out in the coat room. Don't eat my chicken.
Rory: That's going on your tombstone." - Gilmore Girls
This is a favorite moment of mine, not just because The West Wing is so well-written, but also because this pretty much sums up my views of religion and why people shouldn't take the Bible so literally:
"Bartlet: I like your show. I like how you call homosexuality an abomination.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: I don't say homosexuality is an abomination, Mr. President. The Bible does.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yes it does. Leviticus.
Dr. Jenna Jacobs: 18:22.
President Josiah Bartlet: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I have you here. I'm interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She's a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff Leo McGarry insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or is it okay to call the police? Here's one that's really important because we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing: while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits." - The West Wing
I fucking love it.