Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Honesty

So for those of you who want to see more happiness in my blog, go ahead and skip right over this one. This is another very honest post. Things I need to admit to. Things I know I need to change. Things I wish were but maybe can't be. Basically, you could consider it complaining if you want to. I don't think of it that way - I see it as being honest with myself.

The past two days have been strange. I don't feel quite right. I've been sleeping too much again and I've been picking. I'm anxious and I don't know what's wrong.

Yes, I talked this over with my father and he thinks it's the tapering off of the steroid. Sure, go ahead and criticize me about speaking with my father for his medical opinion. Because he went to medical school and actually cares about me. That's why I talk to my dad. Anyways, he has told me that I can't stop the steroid. I must continue even though my mood has gone to hell, I'm picking and that makes me feel even worse. We have to take care of my sinuses.

My dad told me to schedule surgery for later this summer. I've decided I don't have time for a surgery. I will wait until I get completely miserable to the point where I can't stay awake because of the pain, and then I might schedule a surgery. Until then I just want to live my life. I'm too busy to have surgery this summer. Maybe next summer.

So I'm freaking out that I won't get packed in time for Europe. I don't know what to do so I'm going to hide in my bed for the rest of the day - watching TV, eating, and ignoring the world. I will try not to think about anything so I won't be stressed about anything.

Once I am off the steroid I hopefully will feel much better and then I will function and clean my place and pack and things will be happy again.

"le sigh*

1 comment:

Chris S. said...

If you want help packing, we can help.

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