Music is my life. I love to play the piano. I loved the clarinet - still would play it often if it didn't ruin my sinuses. I have listened to music my entire life. I spend my life on my computer, mostly with music playing. I always listen to music in my car - all kinds of music. I was raised with music and I have this strange ability to know all the lyrics to many, many songs.
It's a strange, strange talent. That's why shows like, "Don't forget the lyrics" are fun for me. I just know the lyrics.
Now here are the things that are running through my head:
*my social worker is amazing, and I'm so excited to be on the Patient Advisory Board here at the hospital, because of all the people on the board, I have the most experience with this hospital. I've been coming here since I was three years old. I'm also excited to work with him on the CF quality of life study this summer. Awesome.
*how do I deal with jealousy? I want to be happy for Boy and Girl because things are going well for them and he and I would never have worked (he didn't know the basic Beatles songs - and if you know me, you know I wouldn't be able to live with that). But I am jealous that she has someone - a nice someone to be supportive of her and I don't have that kind of relationship with anyone.
*this place is so screwed up. Last night I had to change my own bed linens - maybe I already wrote about this. And this morning, my nurse gave my med two hours late. RAR.
*I'm officially tired of being here. I'm bored. My dad is bringing Seinfeld to watch - and I have season two of the West Wing, and I have many movies I haven't watched, but I'm seriously bored.
*This makes me a mean person but I don't care. There are people here I can't stand. The annoying girl across the hall just wanders into my room DESPITE the sign on the door. I don't want to have to deal with her. All she does is complain. Yes, I complain a lot here in my blog, but in real life, I rarely have anything to complain about. I can hold normal conversations without complaining.
I can't stand the voices of two people here - one NA and one RT - and they only have one volume "REALLY FUCKING LOUD," so when they wake me up in the morning, it's not a pleasant way to wake up. I usually try to ignore them.
*When I'm here in the hospital sometimes I want to do what I want to do, and sometimes I just really want someone to be here and hold my hand or cuddle with me. My mom and I have been getting along really well -not fighting over what we spend our time doing, except around noon when all I wanted to do was sleep and Mom made me do my saline. So much coughing. So much coughing.
Sometimes when my phone rings I silence it because I don't feel like talking. It's not that I don't appreciate the love - I just want to sleep or be by myself sometimes. Visitors are actually a lot of work - which sounds silly, but they are. I have to talk and stay alert and figure out what to talk about. It's easier if we watch TV or a movie because then there's something to do without me being responsible for the entertainment.
*my brother can be the lamest person on the face of the earth. I told him that we leave for Europe in exactly a month, and then asked if he was excited. He replied, "yeah, sure." Silly boys.
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